The last little while has led to so many random and entertaining stories in my life that I can only hope that as I tell them that you, my faithful dozen readers, can keep up. After all, they are not in the least bit connected.
Random Entertaining Story (RES) #1 - Elder Oaks is Stalking Me
Once upon a time when Elder Dean and I were going to lunch, he had to stop and tie his shoes, so he just stuck his foot up on a concrete garden thing and began his work. I decided, as any red-blooded American in as gorgeous of an overcoat as mine would do, to use it as a tool to make a male-model pose. As I turned around to do so, I noticed a man walking in front of the JSMB towards Elder Dean and I (who were standing in front of the Church Administration Building). He seemed to look very familiar to me... and then it clicked. I decided against the pose. As soon as Elder Dean had finished tying his shoe, we resumed our walk towards State Street. I look at Elder Dean and said, "That's Elder Oaks behind us, isn't it." He glanced over his shoulder and confirmed that indeed, it was. As soon as Elder Oaks was safely inside the CAB, I told Elder Dean what I had nearly done. We both came to the very logical conclusion that Elder Oaks was secretly watching me, just waiting for me to do something stupid (like pull a pose on the street). The story would end there if not for the walk back. As we were coming back, I had the urge to skip (as I often do after eating a gloriously healthy lunch at McDonald's). Who should be standing in front of me? My mission president. Elder Dean and I are convinced that Elder Oaks knew what I was going to do ahead of time and sent my mission president to intercept me. Now whenever I pass the CAB, I look at it suspiciously as if expecting to see someone in one of the windows staring back at me. You just never know when Elder Oaks might be on to you!
If that isn't weird enough for you, Elder Oaks is speaking at our next temple devotional. Coincidence? I think not.
RES #2 - Earning A Discount
Once upon a time (last week), Elder Dean and I went to the food court for lunch. We often go to the food court for lunch...mostly because it beats the cafeteria food by a long shot and is the same price. We also always go to the same restaurants: I go to McDonald's, he goes to Great Steak. When I got up to order, the person at the register not only knew the order by heart (I get the same thing every time), but told me that because I go there so often and because more missionaries are starting to come with me, they were going to start giving a 10% missionary discount. I was very excited... my very own McDonald's discount! It's a dream come true!
RES #3 - Operation Perfect Conference Month 2
Once upon a time (yesterday and the day before), Elder Dean and I had those conference that I mentioned a post or two ago. You remember, the ones that have to be perfect or else? Still, we were prepared. We had asked everyone involved weeks in advance, we had made all of the AV arrangements, we had checked and double checked every detail, and now it was time to see what actually happened. His meeting, as always, came first, on Tuesday. Everything was set up properly. The only problem was that nobody came. A whole third of the Live-At-Home (LAH) missionaries did not or could not attend. One of those absent was the district leader who was supposed to give the opening prayer, so we were lucky enough to get to hear Elder Dean say a prayer (I was already playing the piano, so I was out). All in all though, his conference went off without a hitch and President Simmons gave him the "good conference" comment that let's us know that we get to live to see another month. Then it was my turn. Elder Dean was in a meeting, so I was on my own for set-up. I go down there an hour early (as per the notes on the infamous "pad of paper") and my heart almost stopped; none of the AV equipment we needed was set up while the rest of the room was. That means that the set-up people had already come and gone and there was nothing. I quickly ran back upstairs and spoke to the building reservation lady (a.k.a. Sister Bingham). She quickly got the AV department and got everything worked out just before people started coming in for the conference. As my heart resumed, I sat down wondering what the rest of the conference would be like. Surprisingly considering it's start, it was an amazing conference. Everyone but one missionary was there at one point or another. Elder Dean and I got to make it another month with a beautiful Martinelli's toast. Thank heavens for sparkling cider!
RES #4 - Crazy Tourists!
Once upon a time (last evening), I was working in the library. Sometimes in the evenings, especially on Wednesday, groups will come into the library. When they do, my good friend Elder Cowdell gives them a scavenger hunt to do that gets them acquainted with the library. He also traditionally gives them bonus questions. I traditionally give all of these questions away to any scavenging groups that I see. While I'm sitting at the desk down on B-1, a guy with a girl on either side comes up to the desk, shows me the scavenger hunt, and asks me a question or two. After I answer those, he asks me if I know Elder Cowdell. I acknowledged that I did and if he had any bonus questions that I could answer for him. The guy gets this sneaky look on his face, and says, "No....but do you know *********?" (To find out the question, bring a group to the library!) I smiled and answered the question. He suddenly smiled quite a large, triumphant smile and proclaimed, "HA! That really was the bonus question!" I simply smiled and said, "No kidding!" He then asked the #1 asked question to missionaries, which is of course, "So Elder, where are you from?" When I told him Twin Falls, he asked if I knew Amanda Yardley. Surprised, I said that I did and that we had gone to school together for quite some time. I suppose that she had worked a summer in the town he was from and he got to know her that way. Suddenly a sad look came upon his face and he asked if I had heard about a family tragedy. I said that I hadn't (though my mother later reminded me quite forcefully that she had told me, so for the official record, I simply had forgotten that I had been told), and he suggested that I write her a letter telling her that I was sorry. Said I, "I would love to write her a letter, but I don't have an address!" The girl standing on his left suddenly got very sad and asked, "Oh no...you're a missionary and can't get letters?" The three of us just looked at her for a second to see if she was kidding, and upon finding that she was indeed serious, I replied, "No....I mean that I don't have /her/ address." I've never seen a face go so red! Oh my goodness, she was embarrassed. She did recover enough to point out that at least that would've meant no Dear Johns...not that I've gotten any anyway!
Needless to say, this has been a great week for RESs. Not only did we get great stories, but we also got incredible amounts of work done! Does a week get much better for a missionary?
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